The Vicious Circle of Love and Blame!

What defines that fine line between compromise and subjugation? 

A relationship is all about collecting moments and sewing them into a situation that sums up to become a story. While collecting these moments it is very important to curate the basket and not let any toxic moment scoot in. A successful relationship is defined by how well the couples compliment and fill up each other’s shortcomings, thus, making a whole. This leads to a process of gradual but steady change. A change that is reflected through both the parties and well evident before the closed ones. This process is about accepting each other’s flaws and moving on. If there is a question in the acceptance, then to talk about it and changing the perspective of the concerned party, thus, eventually moving on. 

This process is pretty masked during the first few months, when both the parties seem to revel in the joy of their similarities. Colloquially it is famous as the ‘honeymoon period’. Once this phase surpasses, the differences surface and carve out on the face of the relationship, thus, making the process more tangible. Accepting each other’s flaws comes with a price tag; COMPROMISE. The question is how much can one bend over or rather should, in order to keep the toxicity levels neutral? Two people making a whole hints at striking a balance between each other’s qualities, thus, building something phenomenal. This balance is standardized at a half way meeting point, from each other’s perspectives, thus, making the compromise and move on process easy. We as human beings tend to push our limits and test our vulnerability. Soon enough there are situations where one of the concerned individuals decide to walk the whole path and reach the other person at the other end of a situation, to help him maintain the balance. 

Toxicity creeps in, when this small, one time gesture is not reciprocated and is taken for granted. The other individual keeps pushing harder every single time, thus, reaching the other end and making the significant better half smile. When this cycle repeats itself, over and over again, the balance is interrupted, bit by bit as the complimentary qualities tend to lean towards one end. It is no more complimentary in this case. Unknowingly the stronger party exploits the weaker individual’s feelings of utmost love and passion thus, disrupting the balance. This is when the toxicity starts filling in. 

The moment when one fine day, compromise feels like an excruciating headache and shudders through your entire body, leaving you gaping, you weigh all your compromises and adjustments along your way and realise, this is SUBJUGATION, almost voluntarily. You know you are the one who’ve brought this upon yourself and you regret. Compromising beyond that half way mark, where you were supposed to meet, is a mistake and the moment you cross over, you bring subjugation upon yourself. You grant access to the limited access area, which only you are to blame for. Human beings are also governed by habits that are tough to change, in this case for either parties. Nevertheless, this fine line crossover is a major milestone in a relationship that persists as a skid mark on a glass piece. You can rebuild the relationship around it, reset the rules and pretend as if it never happened, but that does not make its existence any less.

Beware of that fine line from the next time and question yourself before pushing your limits. Is it really worth it? Or, are you just making way for another lazy habit of lying around and not working for that compromise? Because, at the end, always remember, it is you who would be left to be blamed, even though you did all the hard work. Do not get eternally trapped in this vicious circle of love and blame!

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